You’ve been away all this time.
You took away what was solely mine.
It all felt like drowning into darkness.
I had lost my smiles, I must confess!
Emptiness had never taken over me this way.
Storms brewed up inside me but nothing I could say.
I looked for what I could not find.
I couldn’t neglect the menace that swirled in my mind.
Shallow words, feelings so deep.
The numbness in my blood did seep.
I was swallowed by voids of defeat.
Though it took time, I knew why I felt incomplete.
The mirrors couldn’t contain the lies.
I sought myself in reflections blurred by cries.
How could the mirrors have shown what wasn’t there!
In unclear pictures, I unearthed truth so clear!
I had misplaced my own self, I came to know.
Felt shattered cause I couldn’t reap what I did sow.
My only escape, I couldn’t reach.
Was there a dearth of devotion in what I did preach?
The ambiguous feelings were followed by questions.
I was so full of self-doubt and accusations.
The agony stayed the same, though changed the calendar.
In vague despair, I didn’t want to surrender.
I felt like a bird locked up in a cage.
When the pen was in my hand but unscribbled laid the page.
With eyes that rained and a heart that burned;
My own might, I now yearned.
I couldn’t do what I best knew.
So I wandered in the stygian realms I’d never been to.
I wanted to break down,
To find my self again.
I wanted to retrace my trajectory,
And revisit the memory lane.
When I did so, my strengths I found.
I realised I was stronger than these problems around.
The words I had long lost, found their way back to me.
The magic tickled my brain again, and what seeped in my soul was pure poetry.
Like a phoenix, I went through a rebirth full of beauty.
Broken but beautiful, I am like Kintsugi.
Woah! It’s been so long! (Like so so longgg!) And I’ve surely missed this place. But trust me this time, I have no excuses to offer! But would really want y’all to hear me out because this is one place where I vent out all my feelings without any worries.
So, to begin with, everything was going normal. Due to a really busy schedule, I hadn’t been able to write (let alone post) for about 2 months since I last posted. And then came the time when I wanted to write and in fact, gave hundreds of thousands of attempts to pen down a poem but whatsoever I wrote, neither was I able to derive the soothing sensation from my writing nor did my writing give me the feels it always did. At that time, I didn’t think it was writer’s block because I was able to write whenever it was the need of the hour (as in schoolwork).
Then came the phase where I had this gut feeling that maybe IT IS WRITER’S BLOCK but on the other hand, a part of my mind said that I was giving excuses as to my own incapability to write! I was not only struggling with the only thing I knew well, my own strengths and something that I had always cherished, but I also went through my own internal battles. It all felt too messed up. And trust me when I say this, nothing gave sheer pleasure.
It was now the time when my little Bloggo turned two (11th December) and I couldn’t post because I didn’t want to return empty-handed to the place which had given me sooo much. I thought I’d post a week later which then got more delayed as I still didn’t have anything with me to turn up here happily.
Weeks passed, the year ended and after more than a month since then, came the time when I decided to try and pen about this very problem of mine. And look! I found the cure in the problem itself! After this experience, I realised that though this dark time has scarred me, I have realised the importance of the power I possess and how vulnerable and weak I feel when deprived of it. Words are, without a doubt, my strength without which I feel ruined! These teeny bit letters carry the immense power to damage as well as soothe.
My trajectory in the poetic cosmos had been a little broken at some point in the past, but time healed it and the way it cured me has only made me more strong and beautiful, just the way Kintsugi does.
So, here I am! And this is my truth, my vulnerability! And, I am soo very sorry for my absence all this while. I really hope I come back soon with more good stuff to share with you all.
ANDDD, I couldn’t end this post without thanking all the wonderful people who have made these two years of mine at WP immensely beautiful. Thank you so so much to everyone who takes the time to appreciate or read my work. Your support really means a lot to me. And no matter what I say, I would never be able to thank you enough for all that I owe you guys!❤
Belated Happy Birthday Bloggo!🎊❤
And as I’ve always said, Cheers to all that’s been good and to all that’s coming our way!🥂
PS: I know it’s a bit late to say this🙈, but Happy New Year everyone! I hope y’all have an amazing 2020 ahead!🎉🎊
PPS: Also, tell me what you feel about this one!🙈😅
Until next time!😊
Since the time I’ve written this, many people have asked me what Kintsugi actually is, so, here you go….
Kintsugi, also known as Kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery or ceramics by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. This beautifies the brokenness of an object.