Kintsugi

You’ve been away all this time.

You took away what was solely mine.

It all felt like drowning into darkness.

I had lost my smiles, I must confess!

Emptiness had never taken over me this way.

Storms brewed up inside me but nothing I could say.

I looked for what I could not find.

I couldn’t neglect the menace that swirled in my mind.

Shallow words, feelings so deep.

The numbness in my blood did seep.

I was swallowed by voids of defeat.

Though it took time, I knew why I felt incomplete.

The mirrors couldn’t contain the lies.

I sought myself in reflections blurred by cries.

How could the mirrors have shown what wasn’t there!

In unclear pictures, I unearthed truth so clear!

I had misplaced my own self, I came to know.

Felt shattered cause I couldn’t reap what I did sow.

My only escape, I couldn’t reach.

Was there a dearth of devotion in what I did preach?

The ambiguous feelings were followed by questions.

I was so full of self-doubt and accusations.

The agony stayed the same, though changed the calendar.

In vague despair, I didn’t want to surrender.

I felt like a bird locked up in a cage.

When the pen was in my hand but unscribbled laid the page.

With eyes that rained and a heart that burned;

My own might, I now yearned.

I couldn’t do what I best knew.

So I wandered in the stygian realms I’d never been to.

I wanted to break down,

To find my self again.

I wanted to retrace my trajectory,

And revisit the memory lane.

When I did so, my strengths I found.

I realised I was stronger than these problems around.

The words I had long lost, found their way back to me.

The magic tickled my brain again, and what seeped in my soul was pure poetry.

Like a phoenix, I went through a rebirth full of beauty.

Broken but beautiful, I am like Kintsugi.

 

-RIDDHIMA NAYYAR

 

Heyy Everyone!😊

Woah! It’s been so long! (Like so so longgg!) And I’ve surely missed this place. But trust me this time, I have no excuses to offer! But would really want y’all to hear me out because this is one place where I vent out all my feelings without any worries.

So, to begin with, everything was going normal. Due to a really busy schedule, I hadn’t been able to write (let alone post) for about 2 months since I last posted. And then came the time when I wanted to write and in fact, gave hundreds of thousands of attempts to pen down a poem but whatsoever I wrote, neither was I able to derive the soothing sensation from my writing nor did my writing give me the feels it always did. At that time, I didn’t think it was writer’s block because I was able to write whenever it was the need of the hour (as in schoolwork).

Then came the phase where I had this gut feeling that maybe IT IS WRITER’S BLOCK but on the other hand, a part of my mind said that I was giving excuses as to my own incapability to write! I was not only struggling with the only thing I knew well, my own strengths and something that I had always cherished, but I also went through my own internal battles. It all felt too messed up. And trust me when I say this, nothing gave sheer pleasure.

It was now the time when my little Bloggo turned two (11th December) and I couldn’t post because I didn’t want to return empty-handed to the place which had given me sooo much. I thought I’d post a week later which then got more delayed as I still didn’t have anything with me to turn up here happily.

Weeks passed, the year ended and after more than a month since then, came the time when I decided to try and pen about this very problem of mine. And look! I found the cure in the problem itself! After this experience, I realised that though this dark time has scarred me, I have realised the importance of the power I possess and how vulnerable and weak I feel when deprived of it. Words are, without a doubt, my strength without which I feel ruined! These teeny bit letters carry the immense power to damage as well as soothe.

My trajectory in the poetic cosmos had been a little broken at some point in the past, but time healed it and the way it cured me has only made me more strong and beautiful, just the way Kintsugi does.

So, here I am! And this is my truth, my vulnerability! And, I am soo very sorry for my absence all this while. I really hope I come back soon with more good stuff to share with you all.

ANDDD, I couldn’t end this post without thanking all the wonderful people who have made these two years of mine at WP immensely beautiful. Thank you so so much to everyone who takes the time to appreciate or read my work. Your support really means a lot to me. And no matter what I say, I would never be able to thank you enough for all that I owe you guys!❤

Belated Happy Birthday Bloggo!🎊❤

And as I’ve always said, Cheers to all that’s been good and to all that’s coming our way!🥂

 

PS:  I know it’s a bit late to say this🙈, but Happy New Year everyone! I hope y’all have an amazing 2020 ahead!🎉🎊

PPS: Also, tell me what you feel about this one!🙈😅

Until next time!😊

 

Post Edit:

Since the time I’ve written this, many people have asked me what Kintsugi actually is, so, here you go….

Kintsugi, also known as Kintsukuroi, is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery or ceramics by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. This beautifies the brokenness of an object.

 

12 Comments Add yours

  1. Asha Seth says:

    A warm welcome. Whatever you want to call it, it doesnt matter, if in the end you motivate yourself to be back. I liked the poem. And yeah, happy blogversary.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Asha!😊❤️ Glad to know you liked it!😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Manoj Mehra says:

    Happy New Year to you too. Congratulations on blog anniversary. Very nice post. So relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much!😊

      Like

  3. Loved this! Totally related! 💙

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Patty!!❤️

      Like

  4. Enigma says:

    Oh lord, I am a month late from visiting your blog! I just logged into WordPress and this seems to be a really beautiful surprise.

    First of all, Happy Blog Anniversary! I truly hope you get to celebrate many more to come with your fantastic writing and creative thought process.

    Coming back to this marvelous piece, this poem impeccably accentuates in vivid detail the process of heartache and the hole in the heart overflowing with nothing but vacuum. It journeys with a well-processed flow to the enlightenment of self-consciousness.

    Gosh R, these lines are palpable enough for a reader to empathize deeply with the writer.

    “The mirrors couldn’t contain the lies.

    I sought myself in reflections blurred by cries”

    This piece is like a Pandora’s box, adorned with overwhelming imagery which brings a sense of empathy in the deepest crevice of the reader and laced with the struggles of a writer and the appalling tragedy of a writer’s block.

    “I felt like a bird locked up in a cage.

    When the pen was in my hand but unscribbled laid the page.”

    With my recent emotional capacity, I do relate to this piece a lot in the sense of how when a writer feels the deepest of emotions, be it positive affirmations or negative nightmares yet is unable to spill the ink and release the jar of emotions, trust me, nothing feels more awful at the moment.

    But this piece was a voyage, highlighting the classic shades of the theme-‘Lost and Found’. As an artist when the worldly matters make you feel the sense of loss of the creative pixie dust in your veins, it becomes a vital obligation to take a trip down the memory lane. To reassemble the fragments that make you ‘you’, to develop a sense of belongingness for yourself.

    And woe is me! The title, the wonderous human title displaying one of the most will-powering arts of Japan.

    All in all, a piece I relate and empathize with a lot in my present. Since I do terribly find solace in this piece, I did actually ended up rambling and analyzing your writing to quite a lot extent.

    A beautiful piece!

    I am always going to support your writings because your words are a true work of art. I am glad that WordPress gave me this opportunity to meet you.

    Stay happy and healthy!
    Keep Writing, I want to read your words often!

    Truckloads of Love,
    Enigma 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Goddd!
      The best thing that has happened to me on WP is finding friendships as beautiful and as profound as these! What more could I have asked for!❤ I feel so blessed to have people as rare and as lovely as you in my life, Enigma!! 🌸❤

      Thank you so so much for having showered me and my bloggo with so much love!❤ You never fail to make me smile with your touching words that always ooze with love, appreciation and support. And trust me, no matter how hard I try, I would never be able to thank you enough for it!😊

      Your wishes and words really mean a lot to me! I’m so very glad to know that you liked this one!😊❤

      Love and hugs🤗❤
      Riddhima

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Enigma says:

        Trust me, it is always a pleasure to read your words. I absolutely adore your work.

        Keep Writing!

        Enigma 🙂 ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much! Believe me, the feeling is mutual!😊❤

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Riddhima,
    Guilt consumes me as I write this, not just because I’m so late to this lovely composition by you, but also because I realize you went through a writer’s block and I couldn’t be of any help. =(

    I’ve always talked about how each piece you write is like an art, but this one is something beautifully more.
    This isn’t just the art, but the artist herself.
    You would’ve noticed I love to pick out my favourite lines from poems and quote them, like these,
    “Storms brewed up inside me but nothing I could say.”
    “The mirrors couldn’t contain the lies.
    I sought myself in reflections blurred by cries.”
    “Was there a dearth of devotion in what I did preach?
    The ambiguous feelings were followed by questions.
    I was so full of self-doubt and accusations.”
    “I wandered in the stygian realms I’d never been to.”
    “what seeped in my soul was pure poetry.”
    These lines that I have quoted have either made me clutch my chest in the nostalgic pain they triggered, or put the widest cheek-hurting smile on my face realizing just how expertly you’ve captured your feelings.

    But I must say, this stunning craftsmanship from you is not to be appreciated in pieces, it must be a whole.
    Kintsugi, as you have so aptly titled it must be read, appreciated, loved and then fallen in love with as a whole, and I have done exactly that.
    (◍•ᴗ•◍)

    The way your words so fluidly describes the pain one feels when one can no longer do what they’ve loved to do all their lives is beyong magnificent. It has hit so close to my heart that I know I’ll always come back to read this beautiful piece. 😌

    You and your poetry have gone through the purgatory of a writer’s block ( I still feel so guilty for not being around to help aaaahhhh =( ) to emerge in a paradise of veteran writing and this profound , resonating and heartfelt composition is a testament to it.

    As you can see, I cannot possibly put in words how much I love it.
    Broken everyone is, but indeed, you are beautiful like Kintsugi. 💜
    -Megha 😊💜
    PS. Belated happy birthday to your amazing blog!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Megha, do you even realise how impactful and touching this comment of yours was?!
      I’m literally smiling at a screen with tears welled up in my eyes!! God! I often question myself, do I even deserve this kind of love that makes my heart leap and fills me with gratitude and joy? 🙂❤
      THANK YOUs would never be able to portray how deeply grateful I am to have shared such unexplainably beautiful bonds on WP with amazing people like you.🌸❤

      First of all, let go of the guilt, PLEASE!
      There’s no fault of yours! And I completely understand that you have other important things to attend to at the moment. You had enough on your plate already, so don’t blame yourself for anything!!

      Secondly, thank you so much for always taking out the time to read and appreciate my work! Your feedback has always been special to me!😊❤

      Lastly, thank you for the unceasing and abundant love, support and friendship that you’ve given me!🌸 ❤

      Love (Lots and lots of it)❤🤗❤
      Riddhima

      Liked by 1 person

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